I really don’t know what to write about today~
I have pieces of lines and observations rambling around inside but nothing fighting to be heard.
Yet here I am once again trying to create from oblivion.
Here are some of my disjointed thoughts~
“I understand why people take sabbaticals”, these words popped into my head as I once again went rushing through yet another busy day, filled with all the must does I have to get done.
After raising five kids, helping others with their children, taking care of our home and business, buying and loosing homes and business and then the crushing blow of watching my husband loose the battle we have been fighting since 2007 with melanoma cancer. Not to mention fighting with the IRS since 2006 and of course loosing that battle too. I understand the word mental exhaustion at my very core.
But there is nothing to be done except, you wake up and do what you can each day and live to fight another day.
In the Bible, Paul talks about running your race like an athlete, beating your self into shape. I can only hope that I will continue to grow stronger as I continue on this journey.
I don’t like it when people are whiny and maudlin about their circumstances but I understand how someone ends up in that emotional state of being. I try to keep a positive attitude regardless of my personal circumstances and purpose to encourage others and be a glimmer of light that reveals the love of Our Father to those I meet or speak to each day.
I would loose hope if I had not been able to recognize the miracles through the storm’s that threaten to blow our lives apart. God is faithful and I have been a witness to His faithfulness for 27 years. It is the way He reveals His love to each of us who believe, everyday. I know that whatever tomorrow brings, I don’t go it alone.
I am grateful that I have that assurance.
I am not saying that people cannot survive difficult circumstances who are not saved. I am sure they can and in fact I have met and continue to meet many who have. But do they survive with hope intact, joy filling their hearts, laughter on their lips, and the ever increasing love and compassion for others? It has not been my experience to meet any who have.
I think without the unconditional love, grace, mercy and peace I receive from a Father who loves me, I would be a cold hard bitter individual who cared about no one or anything except for myself. And that is exactly the kind of person I don’t want to be.
In order to survive the big storms I have learned to focus on each day and the beauty I find in it, most of the time.
And these verses from Matthew I have clung to since 1993 when I was pregnant with our third baby and there were complications that required her to be born a month early. After praying I came across them and have recited them almost daily at some point.
New International Version (NIV)
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
It really is the little things each day that make the journey bearable
When all around I only find another reason to lay down and die
A giggle from a child is the spark that lights me up again,
A simple life
Full of simple moments
is worth more than all the gold that the world holds.
I grab the joy I find
In the moments I catch
With my heart
Lifting my Spirit
They quiet my mind.